The original and still the best since 1997
By Anonymous Jasmine and Tara looked over the script, and looked at the various props that sat in the room. Jasmine chuckled, then went right into a hysterical laughter. "Hey, I went through this last time," she said. "This time, the rookie gets it. It's only fair." "Think I can handle this," asked Tara? "I saw your debut clip, babe. You'll be fine." Tara sat on a small chair, in a nice white shirt, and barefoot in jeans. Her long, soft curly red hair flowed around her shoulders. Jasmine appears in a lab coat, with a pen and clipboard in hand. "The tests went well last time -- I know that the hard way -- so it's time to test again," said Jasmine. After taking a quick breath, Tara asked "Okay, what are the tests about this time?" "We're here to test just how effective doing "opposite skits" are, for this site, and others like ours. So...are you ready, Tara?" A quick smile appeared. "Yep. Let's go." "Let's begin. Now...here on Earth, the sky is blue during the day. Correct?" "Sure. Everybody knows that!" Upon saying that, a massive bucket of creamy green slime came down upon the ginger's head; upon feeling it, she tilted her face upwards, to let the goo cascade on her cute face. This lasted for about 25 seconds. "What was that for?! What did I say," she gasped. "This is a test for "opposite skit" triggers. That was one. You see, "I" is singular, but "everybody" is plural; "knows" and "don't know" are opposites. So...there you go." With that, Jasmine takes her pen and checks off on her clipboard, noting that phrase was a success. Tara wipes her eyes, and says "Okay...now I know what not to say." A large bucket of yellow slime gushed down upon her pretty face and head; she started to wiggle her toes in the goo. It took 30 seconds to empty it. "What was that?! I didn't say it this time!" "Yes, but you said "I know," which is clearly an opposite of...well, you figure it out. Sit tight, honey. This is gonna be a long test." Jasmine checked off another box on her clipboard. Tara ran her hands across her head, to wipe the gunk off of her head. She only wiped once, realizing the test is far from over, so no need to wipe again until the insane test was done. "So," asked Jasmine, "do you think the test is close to being finished?" "You know, don't you?" A seemingly endless cascade of thick chocolate slime oozed onto Tara. She just chuckled at her plight, as she looked up and let the goo flow into her mouth. This went for around 40 seconds. After she swallowed a bit of it, Tara went "Let me guess. "You" is the opposite of "I", so..." "You catch on quick! Another successful use of opposite phrasing," said Jasmine, who checked off another box on the clipboard. "Anything else in the test?" "Well, usually someone is to slam these pies in your face, but it's the opposite, so..." "I get to pie you in the face?" "Cute, Tara. But no. You get to pie yourself. So...have at it." With that, Jasmine handed Tara the first of 20 pies; all of them were smashed with such ferocity. Jasmine chuckled in disbelief at Mr. MG. The twentieth pie produced a loud smack sound in the room, that it sounded like a small firecracker had gone off. "A success! Good job," said Jasmine, as she checked off that part of the clipboard. "Okay," said a messy, but happy, Tara. "It's over. Time to clean up." A very large bucket of black slime washed over Tara's face and curly red hair. This lasted 45 seconds. "What was that for?!" "You said clean. "Dirty" is clearly the opposite of that." "Seriously, I just need to wash off with water." The biggest bucket of green slime was used on Tara; it was poured slowly on the ginger, lasting 1 whole minute. Tara had a look of confusion and happiness. "Let me guess: water has an opposite?" "Bingo! And with that, the tests are over. A very successful run, wouldn't you agree?" "Sure," said Tara. After Tara washed up, Jasmine and Leah gave her a big hug. "Sorry to put you through all of that, but since you're the new girl, you HAD TO go through initiations. Besides, you had a lot of catching up to do, if you wanted to be with us." "That's okay. I didn't mind. Thanks," said the ginger. The End |
